Beloved friends!
There have been requests from readers to do a post on how I handle my anxiety. After living in Japan for 7 years, I have just moved back to Vancouver, BC. There’s been several days of experiencing relief and anxiety like a rollercoaster. Uncertainty, restlessness, and other emotions that make each day about surviving the next. But what feels most consistent is breathwork, self care, and loving my family.
The older I get, the easier it gets to find my footing. Mindfulness practices have helped my immensely, avoiding prescription medication to have stability. After 2 decades of experimenting with prescribed medication, nutrition, healing modalities, and other things, I realized medication was not for me. Everyone is different. And you know what? If that’s what has helped you through tough times, then you do you!
A brief story of how I’ve lived with anxiety (you’re welcome to skip ahead):
I’ve suffered from anxiety, eating disorders, depression for many years… for as long as I can even remember. It was very prominent and beginning to really read its head out from 10 years old. And I truly mean, suffered… in the safety of my own home. Anything showing in the external world was a lot of masking and pretending like everything was okay. To make things short, I wanted to end my life from a young age. What kept me going was my mom, who I love so much and didn’t want to break her heart.
My journey to begin freeing myself from the darkness started when I was 19 years old. I’ve explored many avenues to relieve myself from these tenacious mind f***ers starting with self-medicating. Addiction to getting wasted, promiscuity, bulimia, retail therapy… Freeing myself wasn’t what happened, numbing and burying happened instead. What really brought everything out of the Pandora’s box was the various psychedelics, spirituality, yoga, and meditation.
It’s truly been a journey of self-exploration and experimentation to feel out what sticks for the long haul. Through the practice of mindfulness and grounding, I have been successful to free myself for about 80% of my days.
I want to share with you what has worked for me:
- Catch myself when the anxious feelings are coming before it turns into a full blown episode
- Breathe my way through an anxiety attacks
- Stay balanced mentally, emotionally, and physically
- Figuring out what my main triggers are
I hope that you read on with an open-heart and open-mind. If you are skeptical of the suggestions, take it all with a grain of salt. Curiosity is your friend! And it sure doesn’t hurt to try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know what works for you.
***** Just because these practices worked for me, doesn’t necessarily mean it will indefinitely work for you. Everyone is different. All I can do is share what I’ve explored and perhaps you’re open to trying one or all of it! *****
1. Deep Breaths.
This is first and foremost, the most important part – To slow down the heart rate and calm your entire vessel (mind-body). By doing so, we are activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System. This nervous system is the opposite of the fight/flight mode (Sympathetic NS). By breathing deeply and slowly, we are able to relax the mind-body. When we put this to practice consistently, we can find ourselves going to this relaxed state in a shorter amount of time. It will be the first thing your mind-body will reach to when stressed and anxious.
When I’m feeling that the wave of anxiety is coming close, I breathe deeply using the box breathing technique. By shifting to a stable breathing pattern, we are able to slow our heart rate and find clarity in the moment. These are the moments that Aja’s come flow through and of course, compassion for the self. Be kind to yourself, always.
2. Mindfulness.
Become the observer of your mind and feelings. Deep breathing brings clarity, focus, and grounding. What’s mindfulness?
“The awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally” (Kabat-Zinn, in Purser, 2015) ~ To learn in depth, visit What is Mindfulness article
You are the master creator of your Universe. Your mind is so powerful. Use this to your advantage, not your demise. If you are in the drivers’ seat of your mind, then you surely are able to become the observer rather than constantly being taken out on an non-consented rollercoaster ride. With mindfulness, we are able to find compassion, empathy, and understanding.
At times we will also come to discover that the whirling thoughts were just irrational fears, overly critical, judgemental, and self-centered views. These are the gems to write, release, and find ways to reprogram by shifting the repeating patterns of the mind.
3. Write Your Heart Out.
Without mindfulness, we are unable to catch ourselves when our monkey mind (racing thoughts) is on the loose! Get a pen and journal. Personally, I prefer a journal so that I can physically flip through a book. To doodle. Use different colours that I may gravitate to. If you prefer typing digitally, you do you!
Take a memo of those whirling thoughts that come through you. You can reflect on one question during a journal entry or rapid fire while it’s still fresh in your mind. You approach it how it feels good to you.
Ask yourself:
- What are you anxious about?
- What can you do about it?
- What will help you overcome this situation?
- What can you do today to make a yourself feel better?
- Is this something you could do to better handle the situation if it arises again?
- Is there something that is triggering the anxiety and affecting your mental state? (alcohol, lack of something, loneliness, grief…)
- What are you grateful for?
- Write 5 things you are proud of accomplishing.
- Write 5 things that truly make your happy.
- What makes you feel truly loved/belonging to community.
The list can go on! Put your thoughts, beliefs, values, and everything down on paper.
The fun part is opening up the old journals after many years to see what was going on. Then to see how far we’ve come is so gratifying. Sometimes you’ll notice a repeating pattern and perhaps you’ll once and for all break that curse. Rewrite your life by jotting down your deepest thoughts and feelings.
What I have always found to be most helpful is to write my heart out on paper. Since I was a little girl, I’d writewritewrite and pour my heart onto the pages. Scribbling all my worries and frustrations onto the paper helped me get out of the whirlwind and going in circles in my mind.
Sometimes I even burned the pages I never wanted to read again and to reset that mindset. Years later, I realized that burning certain writing is a casting those thoughts away from your life. And it truly worked! Writing is a form of release. We become more conscious of the thoughts. Face the storm head on. Don’t let the whirling tornado take you spinning. When we face it, we can change the limiting beliefs.
4. Get in Touch with Mother Earth.
I don’t know about you but when I’m in a forest, I felt instant relief. My shoulders drop. My breath deepens. My pinpoint focus on myself and my limiting beliefs dissipate. All of my senses are invigorated and active.
In the midst of an anxiety attack, I feel the world caving in on me like I am underground shovelling dirt on myself. It’s suffocating. Nature helps us get out of those claustrophobic feelings.
Find a place to sit or lay down. Observe the environment around you. Feel the incredible effects of serenity that nature can bring.
5. Find an Outlet for Release
There are many ways to release the icky feelings and thoughts. I’ll keep this one short since it’s pretty self-explanatory. The best way to feel better is to flood our body with the good, happy hormones! I love this info graphic below by @selfcarevisuals on Instagram.
How many times a day are you caring for yourself? If you’ve been too busy, what are some things you could do for yourself that would bring joy and peace? As a parent of two small children and nanny for 2 other kids, I know that I don’t care for myself enough. And when I continue to neglect myself, my immunity drops and my endocrine system gets all stressed out.
The endocrine system is responsible for releasing and regulating our hormones, metabolism, growth, reproductive system, and bloodstream. When our body is stressed, the endocrine system gets all out of whack! It can cause, raised cortisol levels, adrenal fatigue, thyroid disorders, and/or other health challenges. Do consult a medical professional if you have health concerns. Get to the bottom of it while it’s still in the early stages!
7. One Day At a Time
Be easy on yourself. There’s no one way road to ridding anxiety. But there are many ways to keep a handle on the rollercoaster. When someone promises you a cure or a fix all, run! Because it can take as long as it takes for us to find the right tools to find a balanced state of being. Finding the right people to walk alongside you and be your support system is important.
It’s a major lifestyle change. It’s an overhaul that is worth every minute because you can’t put a deadline or price on happiness. I know I can tell you from experience that I thought I overcame anxiety. But there’s no cure. Just consistent practice to make sure it doesn’t resurface. And if it does, you’ll know what tools to reach for when the big wave is coming your way.
I hope you found some takeaways in this article.
I hope that there’s one thing you’ll want to start trying out and implementing today.
If not today, then when?
Feel free to email me or send me a DM on Instagram @blisslovelight
I’m with you.
And I believe in you.
Love always,
Maya
Spiral Roots Marketing 